Published: Thursday, May 16, 2002 Ease up on Pike? Fat chance   By Tom Hennessy Staff columnist Dear Henry Taboada: Well-placed informants tell me that at a public event Tuesday you made a disparaging reference to a "portly gentleman at Sixth and Pine" the location of the Press-Telegram. I was shocked. Why, in your official capacity as Long Beach city manager, I thought, would you insult my esteemed colleague, Tim Grobaty? The occasion was the groundbreaking for the Queensway Bay project, which you now call The Pike at Rainbow Harbor, and which, considering its glacial speed, cynics call Henry's Half-Fast Fix. But some people say your "portly gentleman" swipe was actually directed at me. Why? Because over and over I have tried to persuade you and your starry-eyed associates that the project with at least 16 restaurants is the dumbest idea since the electric fork. Too good for us? You insult me, Henry, at a time when I thought our relationship was never better. For example, just a few months ago, after an incident in which my wife's car was damaged on one of the billion streets you were repairing (all at the same time), you sent a thoughtful letter pointing out that we could sue the contractor. "Henry is too good for us," I said. "The man belongs some place where his nurturing and brilliant strategizing will be more appreciated. Like Antarctica." (It probably has room for 16 restaurants.) In the spirit of preserving our increasingly warm friendship, Henry, I should apologize for not being at the groundbreaking. Some months ago, however, I had made plans to darn my socks on that very day. But I did enjoy the P-T photo of you and your pals holding shovels. Talk about symbolism. Mayor Beverly O'Neill talked about pinching herself "to be sure this is really happening." She made it sound as if you guys were building Emerald City instead of a food court by the sea. (Pinch away, Mayor, there is a ton of paperwork and other obstacles to be overcome by deadline in the next two weeks.) The missing wow As you know, Henry, the project was conceived sometime around the Ice Age by council members talking about a "wow factor" that would draw every tourist from here to Slobbovia. (Ten million a year, to quote official projections.) But what has it come down to? A Game Works arcade, a movie theater and 16 restaurants, maybe more, crammed onto one of the state's prime pieces of real estate. You must be proud. "The project," I heard one unkind critic say, "will have more restaurants than City Hall has brains." As for the movie theater, I was sneaking a look at another newspaper when I came across a recent story about a Culver City redevelopment project, which seems almost as dumb as your Pike. The story quoted radio talk-show host Tom Leykis as saying: "At a time when companies that own movie theaters are going under ... they think people are going to come from outside Culver City to watch a movie here." That sounded familiar. Do you work part time in Culver City? As he usually does, John Cox did a superb job on the groundbreaking story. The man has a gift for capturing essential details. He noted, for example, that Tuesday's project event "featured clowns ..." True enough. But, then, they've been there all along. Your loyal friend Tom Hennessy Tom Hennessy's viewpoint appears Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. He can be reached at (562) 499-1270, or via e-mail at Scribe17@aol.com